Awakening Part 2

This revelation certainly was not going to get by without all of the details accounted for. Like, just because George thinks I'm a submissive that doesn't mean I am one. Surely not. In the same breath, Fuck, hes right and I know it. But what does that mean?

My world is upside down. In my day to day life, I am in control. Or I like to think I am. Am I? No, yea I am. OK, good. Everything is still in order. Check.

But, I cannot possibly be a submissive. I never run from a good debate. I don't back down. I am sassy. Like really fucking sassy. I am overly and overtly opinionated. I make no apologies where that is concerned. Submissives are meek. They are doormats aren't they? I am so not into whips and chains.

OK deep breaths. My friend George has the answers I need. He is the experienced Dom here. I pick up my phone to ask him.

"You knew?" I ask. He says he knew the last time we hung out. My family still lives in Charleston where he was still living. Oce, when I was visiting, I got to sneak away one night and leave my kids with my parents for a bit. He bought me flowers. I remember seeing him then, so differently than he was back in high school. He was a man now. Filled out. There was just something so inviting about him. So comforting about him. Just as I am now, I was complaining to him about my love life! What else is new. Ugh. Anyway, I had been out with this guy and had a second one night stand with him. I guess after one, its more of a booty call. I digress, anyway, I was telling him how the guy just kinda "took me". Those were the words I used. The sex was amazing. I didn't have my brain on at all despite this guy's amazing body. My insecurities were calm that night. Could have been the vodka. Bob was his name, he indeed took me. And I loved it. So I was telling George about this that night at the beach and he remembers the look in my eyes. He knew.

"I knew. Yes. I knew by the words you chose to describe it. I knew by the look in your eyes. Its the things you crave. You just want to feel. You want to be controlled. You don't want to have to meet expectations."

Exactly! I am jumping up and down on the inside. He has me completely pegged. It also confuses me. "Exactly" I respond, "Is that because everything in my life is the total opposite?"

"You're busy, active... Your kids... It's like herding cats. You just want someone to be a man and tell you what to do and get you off and make you feel free."

"Yes. So why have I always had those fantasies? Like always. Like back when I started masturbating." I am so full of questions. I am so full of answers too.

"Because you've always been who you are. Having kids and an adult life doesn't change you. You still have the same behavior. Same feelings. Same personality." He says this like he really knows what hes talking about.

My mind spinning, I ask "Why are you a Dom then?"

"Because you'll do whatever I tell you to do and I will accept no argument about it" Oh shit, hes serious here.

"Is that clear?" He asks.

Silence.

"Is that clear?" He asks again, sharpening his tone.

My mind still going a million miles an hour, I want to hit the pause button. "What? I can't breathe again. No, its not clear yet. My chest is caving in. Please answer two questions. Please."

He steps in as if he knows already the answers I need. "A Dom will never ask a sub to do anything that you don't want to do...

... And I will answer your questions. And you are a good girl for saying please."

"Oh now, its three questions actually... Thank you, I start the list:
1. You said 'subs' plural. Current? And your wife?
2. If I'm a sub because of why you told me I was, then why are you the way you are? Why are Doms, Doms?
3. How did you know. You said you knew then. How? Just because I got fucked the night before?

Please. Thank you. And yes, I am overly aroused by this conversation."

He replies quickly. "I won't answer my questions about my wife or my marriage. That is none of your concern. Enjoy the attention that I give you and don't worry about anyone else. I have been with people before. I wasn't new before I got married again. Doms enjoy being in charge. Having subs do our will. You enjoy the freedom of not thinking and we enjoy planning the details of our encounters and your reactions. I knew by the look in your eye when you described your date. The faraway look when you admitted to having been handled... An openness about you... A hundred little things."

"You draw me to you. I trusted you. I am open" I say, unable to really string together a proper thought. I feel bad about asking about his marriage, I think he is upset that I asked about that. Crap.

"Understand so far? Are you breathing?"

"Yes, Sir. I was starting to and the it left again"

"I called you a good girl earlier for saying please. How did that feel?"

"It turned me on"

"Yes, you are a good girl, then. Its my pleasure. Do you have any more questions?"

I'm so hot, I'm so confused and so turned on. "A million, but I cant think of them right now. My  mind is spinning and my heart is pounding. What do you want to tell me, what do I need to know?" I hope he knows what I need to know.

He begins. "A Dom will take whatever he wants, but only as much as you are willing to give. You are still in power. Never helpless." His tone is calm, making sure that I am following.

"For example?" I need the details here man!

"Its always okay for you to say "no" if someone goes too far. For example, I can't tie you down unless you want me to'

"I like to be tied!" Oh my, did I really just say that? The filter is clearly gone between my brain and my lips.

The tone of his voice is so calm and crisp, like the tone of a high school math teacher. "Its not okay for me to cause you more pain that you enjoy. Being a sub doesn't mean you are a doormat. The ultimate power is still with you."

"OK so that's why you said a sub needs to be strong willed and confident, because I control your pleasure?"

"Its imperative and really fucking sexy. But No, you control nothing. You have the power and I am in complete control."

"That's what I meant. You are in complete control. Check." Damn filter.

"I won't even let you cum unless you as permission first". I have noticed that this point that he is no longer referring to Doms in general, but to himself as he would be with me and its really fucking hot.

"Got it. Sounds reasonable. I'm still shaking. I am breathing again though."

"So you like to be tied." Its not a question. "You want to be spanked. Have you ever been spanked?"

"In a playful, pleasure way, not as a punishment." My mind recalling the few times someone has had the balls to try to spank me. They've always been playful and not too hard.

"Its all connected. Blindfolded? Gagged?"

"Well, yes. I haven't been spanked like I fantasize about. Yes, blindfolded, not gagged, but it sounds hot".

"Bent over a lap, skirt around your waist, ass exposed to your Dom's hands."

"Oh My God." I'm so turned on by this conversation.

"Your ass is red and smarting when hes done with you. And sore for days after..."

"Holy crap. That's not the spanking I got before. That's the difference I was alluding to. Am I allowed to be aroused by this conversation?"

"Yes, I didn't think you had it done right. You've been wet for a long time, Anne Marie. Most of the last hour anyway" I love how he uses my birth name. No one calls me that anymore.

"Most of the day honestly." I admit.

"I'll assume I had something to do with that" Oh he has had everything to do with that. And he knows it.

"Yes, Sir"

"Good girl"

Oh he called me a good girl. That turns me on. The thought of him being pleased is such a turn on. "Thank you"

"My pleasure, Anne Marie. So you have never been spanked, but probably need to be."

"Yes, Sir"

"Have you ever had to beg to cum?"

"No, Sir. I have always been in control mostly. I've never fully submitted."

"Such a shame... it would make you feel deliciousus and slutty"

"I.m sure. Because the thought of it is making me throb." This whole damn conversation is making my throb. The thought of being with him is making my throb. I know there is a puddle between my legs right now.

"Because you've never been free. Never known yourself"

"I've known it without a name."

"You can touch yourself."

"Should I touch myself with my had or with my vibrator".

"Your hand, Anne Marie. I want you to feel... your wetness. Your folds. Your silken skin. Revel in all that is you and the things that you can do to your body."

"Yes, Sir" I had so been hoping for the quick, lazy easy relief from which ever device I could reach at that very moment.

"You like a firm hand, don't you? A light touch is a nice start, but you want pressure on your clit, Don't you Anne Marie?

"Yes, Sir. Exactly" Hoe does he know all this. My mind is still swirling with the need to know every thing about this.

"Then keep a light touch"

"Oh OK. Yes, Sir." Fuck. I want to pull out my Hitachi and get this done. I want to cum. And how does he seem to know it. Is he here with me? Can he see me?

"Just teasing your clit. And don't you dare cum" His words resonate.

"Yes, Sir"

"You are not ready for that."

"No, Sir. Sir, May I please ask you a question?"

"Yes you may Anne Marie"

"How did you, when did you get so good at this? Always?"

"You are a good girl... I just know how to read you, You are drawn to me, Open, you said. It works both ways. You are a book to me"

"Yes. How?" With my hand still circling my clit and my wet pussy, I find it hard to string words together to form a sentence, but it doesn't seem to affect him.

"A Braille beneath my fingers"

"Oh" Fuck that's hot. The thought of him knowing me without me having to tell him. Ive longed for that my entire life.

"Now slip two fingers inside"

"2?"

"Now. You mustn't hesitate. A good girl acts quickly. Does exactly what she as she is told"

"Yes, Sir. Done. Need to trim the nails"

"You want to be a good girl, don't you AM? You should aways be ready. A good girl can't afford to have nails that are too long. We don't want to leave marks..."

"Yes, Sir. No marks."

"Now give your clit the pressure that it craves. "And make sure you thank me for your pleasure... it is important for you to show respect."

The pleasure is building and building and teetering on the edge of sanity. Between here and there and no where all at once. I somehow manage to speak. "May I cum?"

"Not yet, AM. You aren't ready. Your body is, but your head isn't. But keep that pressure on your clit." He pauses to listen to my breaths. "Don't stop, but don't cum either"

"OK"

"Is this clear?"

"Yes I will do as I am told. Its not that easy, but yes, Sir, it is clear"

"You are a beautiful little toy, Anne Marie"

"Thank you" His words fill me.

"Hours and hours of fun. If I let you cum, will you be absolutely quiet?"

"Cum quietly? Yes, Sir?"

"Yes, Quietly cum" he instructed.

I am silent for a little while and he is patiently waiting listening to make sure I do not utter a sound. Not a single whimper. I do as I am told. I think I black out for a minute and I then I am keenly away that I may have made a sound, a quick sharp gasp for air. "Better?" he asks finally.

"Oh my God, yes, so much better. Thank you for allowing my release."

"Such a good girl... Now, trace your fingers around your lips. That's my kiss."

"Thank you. My fingers tasted sweet" I am so completely wet. I cant believe what I just experienced. That was unlike anything I have ever experienced. So high. And he did that with his words. His command. The fear he instilled in me. I do not want to disappoint this man, ever.

"My pleasure, AM. You're a very good girl."

"Thank you. Did that bring you pleasure?" I so want to know if he touched himself while I was cumming or if he had that bulge in his pants, that pressure in his balls telling him to cum.

"Its not OK to tell anyone about this unless you ask me first. Is that clear?"

"Crystal clear" Of course, I'm thinking. How would that come up in conversation. Oh yea. George discovered I'm a sub and now we are having an illicit long distance training relationship. Yea I don't think it will come up.

"Oh Anne Marie, you are delicious."

"Thank you very much"

"Have you enjoyed your first taste of submission?"

"Immensely"